I just love the way God/Higher Consciousness works...For the past week I have been back in touch with how much fun I am NOT having in my life. I spoke to my personal coach about it. I spoke with my daughter about it. My coach asked me what "fun" was for me. I couldn't come up with an answer. Oh, I could come up with "adult" stuff...creating "Lessons" at Vicky.com, coaching others, dinners and conversation, but I could not come up with any REAL "juice," the REAL fun stuff! I started thinking about what use to excite me...the things that I did with "reckless abandon" as a child. As each activity came up, I noticed my "adult" worrying about skinned knees, broken arms or bashed in heads! "My God," I thought, I have grown up!
My daughter and I started investigating this subject and realized that we were both feeling the same way. We decided it was time to plan something exciting that we could do together. We found out that we both love roller coasters and theme parks. We also discovered that we both love the glist, glamour and excitement of Las Vegas!
My personal coach, a bit of a "granola," (I say that fondly as we both love each other but know that we are miles apart in our interpretations of life,) was not too excited about supporting me to drink, gamble or "raise hell," but was eager to see more aliveness come into this being. I, on the other hand, felt great about the idea!
In feeling my "boredom" further, I realized that my 6 year old inner child was STARVED for excitement. I guess that I should have seen the warning signs. I had been creating a lot of "trauma drama" in my life lately and that is always a sure sign that my 6 or 7 year old is being neglected and doing all she can to create excitement by making a ruckus to get my attention.
A few days ago, my daughter and I started planning our trip to Vegas. We decided to invite my mom to come play too. She is 80, going on 30 and she LOVES to gamble!
With the Vegas trip in the works, I thought that my inner child had been appeased...wrongo congo, adult person...GUESS AGAIN!
I came into the office this morning fully intent, (I thought,) on doing the myriad of very important tasks that I had before me. FOR SOME REASON, (God and my inner child were plotting) I wound up going through old computer files from a 1988 course that I taught called "Creating Wealth." Low and behold, the second item that I opened was my "Weekly Thought," from week 13, called, "Your Child."
Her/my message choked me up and I finally got what she had been trying to tell me.
She hadn't gotten enough of my attention before, so here it was, all in print for me to stare at. The embarrassing thing about it is...I taught this lesson to others 9 years ago. And, even more embarrassing, Lesson 7 at Vicky.com is on the same subject. It appears that I am REALLY trying to get this message.
Hummmmm.........
I don't think that I need to give you any more of my story except to say...I will quickly present "Your Child" for your perusal and then...I am out of here.
Little Vicky is taking me out to play!
YOUR CHILD
One of the most important reasons for being alive is the child within us all. Without the sense of wonder, the excitement, the emotions-happy and sad, angry and afraid-life is hardly worth living.
There is a child within each of us crying out:
"Listen! I am sick and tired of being ignored day after day. You go to work, out with your friends, to sleep, to eat, live your life as if I do not exist. Every once in a while you notice me when you are depressed or home sick in bed. But do you really care about me? Do you really ask what I want?
Here I am sitting around waiting, forever waiting for you to recognize me. First your parents began ignoring parts of me and gradually you continued where your parents left off.
Remember me? I am your feelings, your dreams and fantasies. I am the one who used to enjoy going to the park. I am the one who likes pizza, candy, mountains, sunshine, and who wants to play. I am also the one who likes to be held and told that I am loved. I am the child within you, I am you.
I don't care if you are an adult now. Why does that mean you have to forget about me? Why can't adults enjoy themselves as children do? Why must being an adult mean that the child in you must try not to exist?
Where am I supposed to go when I am angry and you don't recognize me? Then you wonder why you have indigestion or weight problems.
Where do you think your problems come from?
I know you need your important friends. I know you have to make a living. I know you have to take care of others. But have you ever thought if you really became my friend, you wouldn't need some things from others so much?
Have you ever thought that if you take care of your feelings and appreciated your little desires that you would not need so much income to appease me? Have you ever thought that if you were nicer to yourself, taking care of others would not be so much of a burden?
I know you are attempting to get a better position so you will have more time to be with me. I have felt the different therapies you have tried which reintroduced you to parts of me. But I want you to know all of me. I am tired of others pushing and shoving, fishing around for me. I want you to know me.
I don't expect you to change overnight. I have been waiting for you to recognize me long enough. To be honest, a part of me will never understand how you can treat me the way you do. Why is it so difficult for you to be as you want?
If I was literally your child, you would listen to me and care how I am. Well, I am literally your child, you have just learned not to see me."
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