Having secrets and hidden agenda will eventually cripple you completely.
They hold you captive, living a lie and pretending you are something you are not.

If you want your life back, your joy, your sense of Self;

1. Start taking responsibility for everything you have done that was not in absolute alignment with your true sense of Self.

2. Tell the truth about it. Knowing it yourself isn't enough. Tell another person, the one that was affected, if they are living, if not, tell someone else. Do not explain why you did what you did, only that you did it.

3. Sincerely apologize.

4. Make amends with personal sacrifice which stretches you into being who you really are. The payback MUST out weight the betrayal or it will not make up for it IN YOUR MIND and that is where you are being held captive.

You will realign with your Higher Self and regain a clean canvas on which to paint your life. You will feel fresh, whole and complete once again and freedom will be yours.