Nina's Story - Diary

"The Final Decision To Search"

September 26, 1996
After watching a TV show yesterday on adoption and listening to a young boy around 9 express his wish to meet and know more about his birth family and much discussion with my girlfriend Karren who also has an adopted child I have decided to search for my birth mother.
Will I really do it?!?!
I've made numerous phone calls to try to find out the "proper" channels to go through, 7 total. Of course the expected road blocks pop up, then I got a phone call back (thanks to Karren) from a woman by the name of Toby. She is a searcher in Petaluma and referred me to a woman in Seattle by the name of Karen King. Toby tells me she's the best.
The usual process in the state of Washington is to hire a court appointed intermediary who goes to a judge gets the birth records UNSEALED then the intermediary locates the birth parent or parents contacts the birth relative to let them know you are interested in contact gets a release form signed by the birth relative then gives me, the searchee, the birth parents phone number.
I have not spoken to Karen King yet but I will call her tomorrow. Amazing, this process is just a phone call and some money away!!
Can it really be THAT easy?!?!?!
Wow...Questions...Questions...How far do I want this Karen King person to go?
I need to make a list of questions to ask her to see what she DOES versus what I want!
I had always dreamt that I would be the one making contact after checking out the situation first. Just a name and a town of where my birth mother lives. Not someone else calling to say that I'm looking and want to make contact.
What if I don't want contact?
Maybe I just want to see (visual) her not actually meet!
Called husband at work to see how he felt about all this and with NO hesitation he said, "Go For It." This discussion about my birth mother has been a highly discussed topic for our whole marriage. My husband thinks I should locate her especially for the baby and medical reasons. I think he also understands how I feel about the need to know about my "missing pie piece."
I have run the gamut of emotions today and now I am just numb.
What will Monday bring!?!
I've cried, been giddy with excitement, scared of what I might find out but I think I'll feel relief if I can ever complete my circle and answer all of those long burning questions.
Can this really be happening?!?!

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